A Life Lived Forward
by Mystrelle
Summary: Alice is my favorite apart from Edward and Bella themselves, and she plays an important part. I wanted to tell her story from the beginning through her eyes. So, this is how I imagine her. Inspired by a one-shot I did from her pov for a fan fic challenge


At first, there was only darkness. Then the darkness dissolved into a brilliant kaleidoscope of colors that swirled and changed too fast to identify a single object. The motion stopped as quickly as it had begun, and the colors resolved themselves into recognizable shapes. I was standing in a large, light-colored room filled with chairs and people. A variety of blossoms, trimmed with white gossamer ribbons, decorated every surface and hung from the ceiling, forming a fragrant canopy overhead. At one end of the room was a wide arch covered in a profusion of flowers. Before the arch stood a handsome bronze-haired man with sparkling topaz eyes. It seemed to me that he was waiting for something.

Somewhere nearby, music began to play, and I started moving towards the arch. When I reached it, I stepped to one side and turned to look back the way I had come. I watched as a petite woman dressed all in white, with lace filming her dark hair and obscuring her face, walked towards me. I felt an unidentifiable sensation flutter through me as she joined hands with the bronze-haired man. They said their vows, and after they kissed, they were greeted by those around them. Suddenly, I was embracing the dark-haired woman, and I was surprised at the heat of her touch.

"Now we really are sisters," she whispered in my ear as she kissed my cheek. "I love you Alice!"

An inexplicable warmth spread through me at her words. They made me feel whole somehow. I opened my mouth to respond, but everything dissolved into darkness once more.

The darkness was startling after the vividness of the images I had just seen. I gradually became aware of the sensation of warm, humid air drifting across my skin, and I realized I was lying down. As that realization dawned, I began to wonder how I came to be lying here in the dark. I tried to think back before the vivid images and the all encompassing darkness, but I could remember nothing of what came before. Panic began to stir within me as I realized that I could remember nothing about myself beyond the last few moments.

A sudden flash of light startled me to my feet. I could see everything around me although the light vanished quickly. I understood then that the darkness had stemmed from my eyes being closed. It was still dark. The sky above me was heavy with ominous looking clouds, and thunder pealed nearby. The wind picked up speed and intensity as the first drops of rain fell from the sky. The warmth of the rain as it splashed against my skin surprised me. I had a vague notion that rain was supposed to _feel_ cold. I was soon drenched by the downpour, but even then, I didn't feel cold. I became entranced by the objects around me. Despite the dark and the driving rain, I could see everything with great clarity. The colors of the foliage were vivid, and each raindrop shimmered like glass.

The rain didn't last long. I breathed in deeply the scent of rain-drenched magnolia. But how did I know it was magnolia when I could remember nothing past what happened since I had woken in this place? I could not hold onto that thought as I detected a new aroma on the wind. The new fragrance was warm, wet, and deliciously enticing. It ignited the dull ache I had been conscious of in the back of my throat into a raging inferno.

Suddenly, the mystery of my missing memory was utterly unimportant. I was compelled to find that alluring scent. Some instinct took over, and I began to run in the direction that the wind told me the aroma was coming from. My other senses began to relay additional information to me as I raced forward at a speed that seemed impossibly fast. My ears detected rhythmic thumping that my brain identified as the sound of several beating hearts. The closer I drew, the more intense the fragrance became, and the more compelling its hold on me. The fire in my throat was joined by a hollow ache in my stomach that I identified as hunger. Or was it thirst? And something told me that only the warm, wet aroma I was chasing could put out the fire burning in me. In addition to the beating hearts, I could hear the sound of deep voices and laughter. My instincts caused me to slow as I drew closer. I began to home in on the smell that was pulling me forward.

Suddenly my sight was replaced with the image of a tiny dark-haired girl in a blood-stained gown crouching over something. In the flickering light of the fire beside her, I could see several bodies lying on the ground near her. None of them were moving. At that moment, she stood up dropped whatever she had been crouching over, and I realized that it was another body that was just as still as the others. She lifted her head, and the eyes that stared back at me glowed a terrifying shade of red. Her mouth was stained crimson like the blood on her gown.

I stopped, caught up in my horrifying vision. My sight cleared, and I could again see the magnolia grove that I had so recently been running through. These strange visions I was experiencing disturbed me greatly. Were they memories? Or perhaps, was I simply going mad? I had come to a stop next to a small pool of water. Perhaps the water would cool the fire in my throat. I knelt at the water's edge. Reflected back to me was the red-eyed demon girl of my most recent vision. I gasped in horror. I _was_ the demon girl. Did this mean that _I_ had killed all those people? But as I examined my reflection, I noticed subtle differences between that image and the one I had seen in my vision. Although I was wearing the same gown, there were no blood stains dotting my clothes nor was there a crimson stain upon my lips. It was almost as if the carnage I had witnessed had not yet happened.

I sat motionless by the water as I considered that idea. Could that be it? The answer to these bizarre visions? Was I catching glimpses of the future? But how would I know for sure until one of them came true. I felt surge of warmth at the thought of seeing again the dark-haired woman I had embraced. Then I shuddered in horror at the idea of committing the kind of wholesale slaughter I had seen in the second vision. Why would I kill all those people, and if my vision was a premonition of the future, was there any way to prevent it? I looked back at my reflection and was struck again by the brilliant red of my eyes. I knew that there was something unnatural about them. Eyes weren't supposed to be that color, but I didn't even know how I knew that. All I had were questions, and no answers.

The wind had shifted, and I could no longer smell that tantalizing scent. My throat, however, still felt as if flames were burning inside of it. Another question without an answer: why was my throat on fire? I tried the water, but it tasted awful. The hollow ache in the pit of my stomach increased. On the wind came the smell of cypress and swamp water. _There must be a swamp nearby_, I thought. Another warm scent mingled with the aroma of the cypress. It wasn't nearly as appealing as the first one, but it triggered an instinctual reaction nonetheless. I took off running in the direction of the new scent.

The smell of the swamp became more pronounced as I raced forward. I could hear again a rhythmic thumping, but this heartbeat was different from the ones I had before. It was deeper and slower. I slowed as I approached the edge of the swamp, careful to stay upwind. I could see a pair of eyes glinting faintly at the edge of the water. The aroma and the beating of the heart echoed over and over in my brain producing a fierce craving, for what I wasn't sure.

The alligator lay at the edge of the swamp, seemingly unaware of my approach. It was the alligator's heart that I heard beating, and the warm, wet smell seemed to be emanating from it also. It was making me…hungry? Suddenly I was looking at the alligator with the eyes of a predator, and it was my prey. I leapt forward and landed on the alligator. I wrapped my arms around it and squeezed tightly as it tried to writhe away from me, but the alligator was no match for my strength. Without thought, my teeth sought the place where its pulse beat most strongly. I bit, and a flood of warm liquid flowed into my mouth. It seemed to ease the fire in my throat; so I drank deeply. Soon the alligator was still, and no more of the warm liquid flowed. I dropped it and pushed it away from me. Its still form disappeared beneath the waters of the swamp.

As I sat there, the red haze that had consumed me since I first smelled the alligator began to fade, and reason returned. _What have I done?_ I thought, horrified as the realization of what had just occurred sank in. _What am I?_

I sat there, motionless, trying to make sense of what I had just done. All around me, the swamp was preternaturally still. There were no discernable sounds other than the wind in the trees and my own breathing. It was as if every creature that normally inhabited the swamp had fled from some predator. Then I realized, I _was_ the predator.

The scene before me shimmered and changed. Suddenly, I was in a small, dimly lit room. Across from me sat a man both beautiful and oddly terrifying. His blond hair gleamed even in the limited light. The look in his crimson eyes was a mixture of pain, hope, and an inexplicable tenderness. Every inch of his skin that was visible was covered in strange crescent-shaped scars that reminded me vaguely of teeth marks.

"But Alice, are you sure?" he asked, with a soft southern drawl. "Can we really live off the blood of animals? We're vampires, and humans are our _natural_ prey!"

"I've done it, Jazz," I heard a high soprano voice respond. Even in the midst of this strange vision, some part of my mind wondered if it was _my_ voice I was hearing. "And, I've seen visions of this family living the same way."

He snorted, and the look on his face was plainly skeptical.

"I saw you before you found me," the voice reminded him. "Look at my eyes, Jasper. You've lived a long time. Have you ever met a vampire with yellow eyes before?"

"No," he answered with a reluctant smile.

"No, but my eyes _are_ yellow, aren't they? You have an extraordinary gift yourself. Is it really so hard to believe in mine?"

"No, Alice," he said reaching forward. "It's not that I don't believe in you or in your gift. As much as I want to stop being a monster, it's just so hard to think about resisting the call of human blood. And, trust is hard for me, especially now that I've found you. I just couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. How do we really know that these others will accept us?"

"Because I've seen that they will. It's not like the covens you've encountered before. They're going to be our _family_. Trust me on that, Jazz. I know the change will be difficult, but we'll be together, and together, we can do anything. Please, just have faith in me, in us. That's all I'm asking."

"I do, Alice," he responded quietly, and I felt myself enveloped in a blanket of warmth, hope, and love as my vision dissolved. As my senses began to refocus on my immediate surroundings, I replayed the details of the vision in my head. I was convinced that there were important answers revealed by this little flash forward episode.

I focused on the man in the vision. The female voice had called him Jasper. His sent another tingle through my body. It reminded me of what I felt when I had been embraced by the woman in my first vision, although there was a subtle difference between the two sensations. When I called his image to mind, I felt a longing for him that I couldn't explain. I wanted to see him in person. I wanted to ease the pain I had seen in his face. I desired his touch in ways that I didn't fully understand.

I shook my head to clear the strange compulsion I was experiencing. I replayed the words that Jasper had spoken. He had called himself and the woman he was speaking to vampires. He said that they preyed on humans and scoffed at the idea of drinking animal blood. I recalled my attack on the gator and how I had drained its blood away in response to my burning thirst. So, vampires must normally do that to humans. They hunted them and survived by drinking the life giving fluid in their veins. I felt a surge of disgust at that thought. The image of the slender brunette and her whispered words filtered through my mind again. I remembered her softness, her warmth, and somehow, I was certain that she was human. How could I want to _hunt_ someone who had expressed love for me?

_No! I couldn't do that! It was just…wrong!_ I had hunted the gator, and it eased my thirst. The female voice had told Jasper that it was possible to live off animals rather than humans; so, that's what I would try to do. I had a feeling it wouldn't be easy, but I was sure that despite the struggle it would entail, it would ultimately be worth it.

My earlier speculation about the female voice in the vision returned. I repeated the first words I had heard that voice speak. The ringing, bell-like soprano I heard was identical to the voice in my vision. Jasper had called the voice Alice. So, that must be my name: Alice. I repeated the name aloud. It felt…_right_. I remembered that the woman in my first vision had called me Alice as she embraced me and told me she loved me. I also recalled the look of tenderness and adoration on Jasper's face as he was looking at the unseen woman…as he was looking at _me_!

I felt a surge of hope. While so much was still blank, at least I had _some_ answers. I knew what I was. I knew who I was, sort of. I had a name, and somewhere, there were people who loved me. I felt my lips curve into a smile. It was a beginning….


End file.
